Sexual Shadow Work in the Bedroom: Where Fantasy, Fear, and Truth Collide

You Don’t Have to Choose Between Holy and Hungry

You were never meant to be split.
Not between “good” and “bad.”
Not between “light” and “dark.”
Not between “pure” and “primal.”

Your erotic nature was never supposed to fit inside tidy categories.
It was born fierce, sacred, messy, gorgeous — all at once.

You don’t have to kill your kink to touch the divine.
You don’t have to sterilize your sensuality to make it sacred.

In a world that splits sexuality into extremes —
dirty or pure, primal or spiritual, forbidden or holy —
most of us end up disoriented, disconnected, ashamed of our hunger.

But here’s the deeper truth:

Shadow sex and sacred sex aren’t opposites.
They’re different dialects of the same primal language.
That’s the invitation of sexual shadow work in the bedroom — a space where hunger and holiness aren’t at odds, but in conversation.
You were born fluent in both.
You were born whole.

The work is not choosing a side.
The work is listening to all your erotic selves —
the wild, the tender, the feral, the reverent —
and letting them all have a seat at the fire.

Understanding Sexual Shadow Work in the Bedroom

Sexual shadow work in the bedroom is the intimate, healing practice of exploring the hidden, repressed, or shamed aspects of your erotic self — including your fantasies, traumas, contradictions, and cravings — and learning how to hold them with awareness instead of exile. It’s not about obedience to desire. It’s about recognition, responsibility, and release.

Most people don’t get to know their erotic selves. They get to know their acceptable selves — the version that won’t rock the relationship, embarrass the partner, or dig up the past. The rest — the intense, unruly, curious parts — go underground.

In Jungian psychology, the Shadow is everything we’ve learned to hide, repress, or deny in ourselves. It’s not just the “bad” parts — it’s the forbidden, the misunderstood, the inconvenient, the wounds. And when it comes to sexuality, our Shadow is often full of life we were never allowed to touch.

What is the Erotic Shadow?

Sexual shadow work in the bedroom helps you uncover the exiled parts of your sexual self — the ones shaped by shame, silenced by fear, or dismissed as:

• Taboo fantasies
• Hunger for control or surrender
• Curiosity around kink, power, pleasure, or pain
• The parts of you that were shamed, silenced, or traumatized

It’s where the primal lives. Where shame and desire tangle.
And often, where the most healing potential hides.

Our culture splits sex into binaries: sacred or sinful, romantic or raunchy, acceptable or perverse. Most of us internalize these splits and shove anything “too weird” into the dark. But what we exile doesn’t disappear — it festers. It shows up as anxiety, sexual avoidance, compulsive behaviors, or performative intimacy.

Jung said that “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” That includes your erotic life. Unintegrated sexual shadow can:

• Create cycles of shame, guilt, or secrecy
• Lead to dissociation during sex
• Prevent honest communication with partners
• Drive compulsive or risky behaviors without conscious choice
• Suppress desire entirely

But when you integrate the erotic shadow, you reclaim vitality, confidence, and self-trust. You stop running from yourself. You start choosing.

Signs Your Sexual Shadow Is Active (but Unseen)

You may be living from your shadow without realizing it. Here are some common indicators:

• You feel desire, but shame crashes in immediately after
• You fantasize about things you’d never admit aloud — and judge yourself for it
• You “go through the motions” in intimacy but feel emotionally checked out
• You’ve blurred consent in the past — your own or someone else’s
• You crave intensity more than connection
• You fear being truly seen in your desire
• You perform what sex is “supposed” to look like instead of exploring what actually arouses or fulfills you
• You get aroused by fantasies that mirror past trauma — and feel confused or disgusted by it
• You feel numb sexually, or secretly believe you’re beyond repair

None of these make you bad. They make you un-integrated — split between who you are and who you think you’re supposed to be.

The Erotic Shadow and Trauma

For survivors of sexual assault or domestic violence, the shadow often holds more than taboo fantasies — it holds the trauma itself.
Painful experiences around sex can cause:

• Disconnect between arousal and safety
• Guilt for feeling anything sexual afterward
• Attraction to scenarios that feel unsafe but familiar
• Difficulty experiencing or expressing desire
• Body memories, flashbacks, or shutdowns during intimacy

All of this is common. And all of it belongs in the conversation. Because the erotic shadow is not just where the “naughty” lives — it’s where the wounds live too.
And healing means letting the wounded and the wild be seen.

This is where sexual shadow work in the bedroom becomes not just helpful — but vital. Because reclaiming desire after trauma isn’t a luxury. It’s a liberation.

Admitting Your Fantasies Without Shame

Before you can share your fantasies, you have to stop hiding them from yourself.

Many of us were taught that fantasies are dangerous, embarrassing, or immoral — especially if they challenge what we think a “healthy” or “respectable” sex life should look like. But the truth is, fantasies are not prescriptions. They’re expressions — of desire, of curiosity, of unmet emotional or psychological needs.

They are messages from your Shadow.
And sexual shadow work in the bedroom is how you learn to listen without flinching.

Why Fantasies Belong in Shadow Work

In Jungian terms, fantasies often rise from the unconscious to express what’s been repressed. This includes parts of your erotic self you didn’t feel safe claiming — like the desire to be dominated, to dominate, to be worshiped, or to surrender completely.

These images may not make logical sense. They may mirror dynamics you’d never want in waking life.
That doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It means they’re asking to be witnessed — not acted out without thought, but seen and understood.

Fantasies can reveal:

• Emotional longings (e.g., being cared for, being taken, being free from control)
• Power dynamics that reflect unresolved wounds
• Desires you were taught were shameful or unacceptable
• Sensory cravings or symbolic needs
• Archetypal roles that hold meaning for you (e.g., The Rebel, The Innocent, The Ruler)

And yes — they can also reveal what turns you on.

Desire isn’t rational. It’s relational, embodied, often symbolic. When we approach it with curiosity instead of judgment, we open space for healing.

Through sexual shadow work in the bedroom, you can separate what excites you from what defines you. The goal isn’t to analyze your way into correctness — it’s to let your body speak, and to listen without assigning guilt or virtue.

Ways Fantasies Speak (Even When You Try to Shut Them Up)

• A recurring scenario you masturbate to but never tell anyone about
• A daydream that makes you feel powerful, submissive, adored, punished, or rescued
• Shame after climax that doesn’t match what just happened
• Emotional resistance when someone brings up a kink you secretly relate to
• Nightmares with sexual undertones you can’t quite decode
• A turn-on that conflicts with your values — and keeps returning anyway
• A craving for intensity, risk, or control that feels hard to explain
• A physical reaction (arousal, withdrawal, disgust, confusion) to a particular dynamic in media or memory

A Note on Trauma, Fantasy, and Confusion

Survivors of sexual violence often wrestle with fantasies that mirror, distort, or reactivate traumatic experiences. This is common — and confusing. You might ask yourself:

Why would I fantasize about something that once hurt me?

Psychologists and trauma specialists have found that these fantasies are rarely about wanting the trauma repeated — they’re usually about reclaiming power, processing control, or making meaning through the body.
As long as these fantasies are approached with conscious awareness and self-compassion, they can become part of your healing — not your undoing.

What matters is not whether a fantasy is “right” — what matters is whether it’s driving you unconsciously or being held with clarity and care.

Journaling: Where the Truth Can Speak First

If you’re not ready to speak your fantasies aloud, that’s okay.
Start in the safest place: your own mind, your own paper.

Writing them out — without censorship — can help decode their message. Journaling can turn “shameful urges” into deeply human truths. It’s a ritual of reclamation.

But not everyone starts with words.

Sometimes, your body remembers in images.
Sometimes, your Shadow speaks in shape, not syntax.

If that’s true for you, begin with art.
Grab charcoal, pastels, ink — anything that feels honest.
Let your hand move before your mind interrupts.

Then look at what emerged.
What did you draw? A locked door? A hand? A wild animal?
Does it scare you? Turn you on? Remind you of a feeling or a moment?

Now write.
Write what the image stirred up.
Write what it reminds you of, what it could symbolize, what part of you it represents.

You’re not trying to perform the fantasy.
You’re trying to understand it.

Your Shadow isn’t waiting for a polished essay.
She’s waiting to be seen.

Journal Prompts for Sexual Shadow Work in the Bedroom

These prompts are sacred tools for sexual shadow work in the bedroom
Because your Shadow wants permission to reveal what she holds.

These prompts aren’t for sharing.
They aren’t for your partner.
They’re for the part of you that’s been waiting —
in silence, in shame, or in hunger —
to be heard without being punished.

Set the Stage

• Dim the lights.
• Light a candle if it helps you feel safe or sacred.
• Sit somewhere soft and private.
• Breathe into your hips, your belly, your chest.
• Let your hands rest on your thighs, your heart, or your center.

You can write.
You can draw.
You can let your body tell the truth before your mind tries to manage it.

How to Begin

Pick a prompt. Let the question land in your body.
Then draw. Use charcoal, pastels, ink, or whatever makes your hand move freely.

When you’re done drawing, write about what came through. You might ask:

• What part of me does this represent?
• What emotion is this image holding?
• What memory, fantasy, or desire might this be speaking for?

Optional Variation: Draw First, Then Choose

If words feel out of reach, start with a spontaneous drawing. Let the image lead.
Then choose a prompt that feels connected to it. Use that to write.

This is especially helpful if:

• You feel disconnected from desire
• You’re afraid of what the writing might say
• You need to bypass your inner censor

Your Shadow sometimes speaks in symbols before it speaks in sentences. Give her that chance.

Prompt Options (Choose one or many)

• When have I felt turned on by something I was taught to shame?
• What do I fantasize about when I think no one will ever find out?
• If my body could speak without fear, what would it say it longs for?
• Where do I crave to lose control — or take it — and why?
• What parts of my erotic self do I judge as “too immoral,” “too stupid,” or “too dangerous”?
• What do I desire that scares me — and what do I fear that secretly excites me?
• How do I want to feel during intimacy — not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, energetically?
• What would happen if I stopped judging my fantasies and started listening to them as messengers?

For Deeper Integration: Speak or Burn

After journaling, you can deepen the integration in one of two ways:

Whisper the answers aloud, even if just to yourself. Let your voice carry the truth. Feel the words move through your chest.

OR

Burn the pages (safely, ritually). As you do, say:
“This was never shame. This was truth. And now it’s mine again.”

Shadow Sex vs Sacred Sex: Not Opposites, But Echoes

Shadow sex and sacred sex aren’t opposites.
They’re different dialects of the same primal language.

You were born fluent in both.

But most of us were taught to choose:
Be wild, or be worthy.
Be spiritual, or be sexual.
Be safe, or be free.

So we split.

We exile our hunger to protect our hearts.
Or we offer our bodies while silencing our souls.
Neither path leads to wholeness.

To reclaim your erotic wholeness, you have to know both voices — the one that howls and the one that prays. And then learn how to let them speak in harmony.

What Is Shadow Sex?

Shadow sex lives in the dark. It’s raw, instinctual, transgressive. It doesn’t ask permission. It demands presence.

It’s where your taboo fantasies hide.
It’s the hunger that outruns your manners.
It’s the ache for:

• Power exchange
• Being devoured
• Rule-breaking
• Touching the forbidden

Shadow sex says:

“I want without apology.”
“I crave without censorship.”
“I surrender to the wildness inside me.”

When unconscious, shadow sex can become addictive, compulsive, disconnected.
But when conscious and consensual, it’s powerful.
It can be cathartic, liberating — even sacred in its own feral way.

What Is Sacred Sex?

Sacred sex lives in the light. It’s intentional, heart-centered, devotional.

It’s not about restraint.
It’s about reverence.

It’s where your body becomes an altar.
Where breath is prayer.
Where pleasure is presence.

It’s the place where you feel:

• Emotionally safe
• Spiritually connected
• Energetically alive
• Honored — not just touched

Sacred sex says:

“I see the divine in you.”
“I offer my truth as a gift.”
“I meet you to become, not consume.”

It doesn’t erase desire.
It transforms it.
It doesn’t reject the wild.
It brings it into conscious communion.

Shadow and Sacred Aren’t Enemies

— They’re Incomplete Without Each Other

The integration is the alchemy between shadow sex and sacred sex. Here’s what happens when one dominates without the other:

Shadow Without Sacred	Sacred Without Shadow
Can become compulsive	Can become performative
May reenact trauma	May suppress desire
Lacks connection	Lacks vitality
Can feel unsafe or isolating	Can feel flat or disconnected
Rooted in instinct alone	Rooted in ritual alone

When They Work Together

When you let the shadow and the Sacred co-exist in your erotic life, you create a sexuality that is:

• Deeply present and wildly alive
• Grounded in consent and open to surrender
• Emotionally connected and powerfully charged
• Safe enough to risk truth
• Whole enough to hold paradox

You can:

• Whisper a prayer before tying the rope
• Make eye contact while crying out
• Say “thank you” after being ravished
• Call your kink a devotion — not a shame

You don’t have to divide yourself to feel worthy of love or turned on by your life.
You were never meant to choose.
You were meant to weave.

Sharing Fantasies With a Partner

You don’t need a partner to begin this work. But if you have one — and you’re safe with them — sharing your fantasies can become one of the most powerful intimacy tools you’ll ever use.

The hard part? Most people don’t know how to do it without fear.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of losing respect.
Fear of being seen as “high maintenance” or “not enough.”

Here’s the truth: Your fantasies are not too much or too little. They’re just unspoken.
And most partners — if given the right context — want to know you more deeply. They just need to feel safe too.

Why Sharing Matters

Talking about your fantasies doesn’t mean acting them out.
It means letting someone witness the inner world you usually hide.

Done well, this kind of erotic honesty creates:

• Deeper emotional trust
• Increased arousal and intimacy
• More satisfying and adventurous sex
• A sense of being fully seen — and accepted

You’re not just giving your partner new ideas.
You’re giving them access to a deeper version of you.

How to Talk About Fantasies Without Shame or Pressure

1. Set the Tone

This is an invitation, not a demand. Let your partner know you want to share something intimate — not to pressure them, but to feel closer. Example:

“I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately, and something came up that I’d love to share with you. Would you be open to hearing it?”

2. Start with “I” statements.

This keeps the focus on your experience, not your partner’s performance. Example:

“I’ve always been curious about…”
“I realized that when I imagine __, it brings up these feelings…”

Avoid:
✘ “You never do this…”
✘ “Why don’t we ever try…” (This puts them on the defensive.)

3. Choose a low-pressure moment.

Don’t bring up vulnerable fantasies during sex unless you’ve agreed on that. Pick a relaxed time — after dinner, on a walk, or in a casual check-in.
Safe timing helps both of you stay present instead of reactive.

4. Normalize fantasy — for both of you.

Let your partner know this is about honesty, not expectation. Example:

“Just because I fantasize about this doesn’t mean I need to do it — but I want you to know what’s real for me.”

And give them the same room. Invite their honesty:

“Is there anything you’ve ever been curious about but never said out loud?”

5. Make consent and boundaries explicit.

Fantasy exploration requires safety. Agree together:

• Just because you share something doesn’t mean it has to happen.
• You both get to say yes, no, or maybe later.
• Curiosity does not imply obligation.

If something’s off-limits, say so with kindness.  Example:

“I appreciate you telling me that. I’m not sure it’s something I could try, but I’m glad you trusted me with it.”

6. Explore the energy behind the fantasy.

Not every fantasy needs to be taken literally. Sometimes there are parts of a fantasy that won’t work for you, but something about the rest of the fantasy is intriguing. If your partner’s fantasy is triggering or confusing, try asking:

“What part of this excites you the most?”
“Is it the scenario, or the emotion behind it?”
“Is there a version of this that feels safe and fun for both of us?”

You might be surprised how adaptable fantasies can become once the emotional layer is understood.

7. Reaffirm safety and care.

After you talk, reaffirm connection. Touch. Smile. Offer aftercare — yes, even for conversations. Say something like:

“That was really vulnerable. Thank you. I feel closer to you.”
“No matter what we do or don’t do with this, I’m glad we talked about it.”

What If Your Partner Isn’t Into It?

Not every partner will resonate with every fantasy. The goal isn’t perfect alignment. It’s mutual respect, curiosity, and compassion.

And if you feel dismissed, judged, or shamed when you open up — pause.
Those are red flags. You deserve to be met with care, not control or cruelty.

When done with love, fantasy-sharing becomes an act of devotion:

“I trust you enough to show you the parts of me I’ve always kept hidden.”

And in return:

“I care enough to hold those parts with presence — even if they scare me.”

Trauma-Informed Sexual Shadow Work

If you’ve lived through sexual assault, abuse, or coercion, then you already know that sex doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It carries memory. It brings up control, power, fear, grief — and sometimes, all of that at once. You don’t just step into a new relationship or sexual experience with a clean slate. You bring a body that remembers what it needed to do to survive.

Sexual trauma often hides in your Shadow. Not because you’re hiding from the truth — but because your body learned to bury anything that wasn’t safe to feel at the time. This includes not just pain, but desire. It includes fantasies that confuse you, reactions that surprise you, numbness that feels impossible to explain.

Doing shadow work from a trauma-informed lens means you stop asking yourself “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking “What is this part of me trying to protect?”

Here are some common ways trauma can show up in your erotic shadow:

• Feeling numb or checked out during sex
• Difficulty identifying what you want or don’t want
• Arousal that kicks in with shame or confusion
• Fantasies that echo powerlessness or danger
• Avoiding sex entirely — or relying on it to feel temporarily safe
• Trouble staying connected to your body when intimacy begins

If you see yourself in any of that, you’re not broken. Your body and mind adapted to survive. The work now is about creating safety from the inside out — safety that includes your choices, your pace, and your right to say no at any time.

That starts with control. Not sexual control — nervous system control. Slowing down enough that you can actually feel what’s happening without disconnecting or pushing through. You get to decide how this work unfolds. There’s no timeline. No milestone. No expectation to reclaim anything before you’re ready.

If fantasies come up that echo your trauma, don’t panic. This happens to a lot of survivors, and it doesn’t mean you want to be harmed. Often, those fantasies are the brain’s way of trying to rewrite the story — to take back the power, to be in charge this time, or to make meaning out of something that was never supposed to happen.

You don’t need to act out fantasies to honor them. You can explore the emotion or energy behind them — through writing, creative work such as rewriting the story, symbolic rituals, or with a therapist who knows how to hold complexity without judgment.

There might be times when your desires conflict with each other. You may crave closeness but pull away as soon as it begins. You might want to be touched but feel your body tense with fear when it happens. These internal contradictions are not failures. They’re signals that your system is still working out what’s safe and what’s not. Instead of trying to choose between parts of yourself, try asking:

• What does this part of me need right now?
• What am I afraid will happen if I follow through with this desire?
• Can I slow this down enough to feel my response before I act?
• Is this a memory, or is this now?

If you have a partner, your needs are never out of bounds. You don’t owe anyone spontaneous, uninhibited sex. What you need is a partner who values your safety more than their pride — someone who can have conversations about boundaries, triggers, pacing, and consent without backing away. Talk about what helps you stay grounded: eye contact, verbal cues, lighting, safe words, or specific rhythms. You’re allowed to have requirements. You’re allowed to change your mind.

And if this work starts to feel too big, get support. Not because you’ve failed, but because you deserve help holding what happened. Therapists who specialize in trauma and sexuality — especially those using somatic or body-based approaches — can help you move through the weight without retraumatizing yourself. You don’t have to carry this alone, and you’re not meant to.

Trauma-informed sexual shadow work is not about returning to who you were before. It’s about becoming someone who can feel again — safely, fully, and without apology. You’re not performing recovery. You’re building trust with your own body. And every time you choose presence over performance, care over compliance, and awareness over shame — you are healing.

Sacred Rituals for Erotic Integration

Knowing what you want is powerful.
But giving it form — even symbolically — is where transformation begins.

You don’t need a partner to reclaim your erotic self.
You need space to honor the parts of you that survived in silence.
That’s what ritual gives you: space to see your Shadow, hold her gently, and let her speak.

These are sacred acts of permission. They help the body catch up to what the mind now knows.

Sexual shadow work in the bedroom gives the unspoken a shape, the unseen a name. When you create from that place — whether through words, movement, or art — you’re transforming desire into something sacred.

🌙 Ritual 1: The Desire Altar Beside the Bed

Purpose: To honor your longing without apology.

Setup:

• Choose a corner of your nightstand or floor
• Place a red or black cloth down as a base
• Add a candle that smells like fire, spice, or earth
• Include a stone, feather, mirror, or symbolic object that reflects your erotic self
• Optional: Include the letter from Dear Wild One (below)

Practice:
Light the candle before bed. Sit quietly.  Whisper:

“I honor the parts of me still hungry for more life.”

Let the altar become a place where longing isn’t shameful — it’s sacred.

🌙 Ritual 2: Embodied Fantasy Breathwork

Purpose: To explore a fantasy symbolically through breath, not action.

Setup:

• Sit or lie on your bed or floor
• Wear something that feels soft or powerful — or nothing at all
• Close your eyes and call forward one fantasy you’ve judged or feared

Practice: Breathe into your pelvis and heart at the same time. Let the fantasy rise without censorship. You don’t need to follow it to completion — just feel its texture. Ask:

• Where does this live in my body?
• What does it make me feel?
• What does it want me to know?

End by saying:

“Desire is allowed to exist here.”

Let the breath bring you back to yourself. You’re still in control.

🌙 Ritual 3: Erotic Self-Recognition

Purpose: To name your erotic self in your own words and give that self a visible form.

Setup:

• Grab your journal or sketchbook. Find a mirror if talking to yourself helps.
• Sit somewhere private where you won’t be interrupted
• Bring to mind the part of you you’re reclaiming — the one that carries your desire, your power, your hunger

Practice: Start by writing or speaking directly to that part. Examples:

“You are wild and worthy.”
“You are allowed to take up space.”
“You were never shameful. You were silenced.”

Once you’ve spoken to them, give them form.

Draw what they feel like. Sketch their shape, their posture, their energy. Are they armored or open? Are they roaring, curled up, or watching from the edge?

Then return to your words.
Name this part’s qualities: what they want, what they protect, what they’ve survived.

End with an affirmation:

“I see you. I hear you. I won’t hide you anymore.”

This ritual can be repeated anytime you feel distant from your erotic truth. Each time, the voice will be clearer. Let this become a regular check-in — a reconnection with the part of you that once had to disappear to survive.

Create Your Own Ritual

If none of these rituals fit, create one that does.
Paint your longing. Dance in red light.
Write your fantasy on handmade paper and bury it under a tree.

Your Shadow responds to symbols.
She wants to see you show up.

Dear Wild One

— A ritual letter to the part of you that never stopped wanting

The Gift of Erotic Wholeness

When you stop splitting yourself into what’s acceptable and what’s not, you begin to feel whole again — not just sexually, but psychologically. Erotic wholeness isn’t about reaching some ideal version of desire, or healing to the point where everything feels safe and easy. It’s about living from a place where your desire, your fear, your power, and your longing are allowed to coexist without shame.

If you’ve done this work — even one part of it — then you’ve already reclaimed something that was never supposed to be taken from you: your authority over your own erotic self.

What changes when you reclaim it?

You start to trust your body, not because it always feels good, but because it’s yours again. You can say yes or no without second-guessing your worth. You stop trying to fix your fantasies or justify your needs. Instead, you ask better questions. You ask:

Does this feel good for me?
Do I want to explore this with care?
Can I make space for my hunger without being consumed by it?

You begin to relate to others from a place of presence, not performance. You recognize when you’re turning off to keep the peace — and you decide whether the peace is worth that cost. You understand that pleasure isn’t something you have to earn by being easy to love. It’s something you’re allowed to experience because you’re alive.

You don’t have to be perfect to be whole.
You don’t have to understand everything you want to start building a relationship with it.

Sexual shadow work in the bedroom isn’t about returning to who you once were.
It’s about becoming someone you can live inside without flinching.

Erotic wholeness doesn’t mean every encounter is transcendent or every shadow disappears. It means the parts of you that once felt dangerous or dirty no longer control you from the dark. You’ve brought them forward. You’ve listened. You’ve chosen how to engage with them on your terms.

For some, this integration feels spiritual. It restores a sense of sacredness to a part of life that was once only linked to shame, power struggles, or survival.

For others, it’s about returning to the body as a site of truth — not a battlefield. And for many, it’s the first time they’ve felt desire without also feeling like they had to apologize for it.

No matter how this work unfolds for you, the outcome is the same: more clarity, more self-trust, more space to live without contorting yourself.

If this stirred something awake in you — a want, a wound, a truth you’re still learning how to hold — don’t let it fade.
This is the work that reshapes your relationship with yourself from the inside out.

Subscribe to the Shadow Seekers’ Dispatch — my monthly letter for artists, survivors, and sensual truth-tellers. You’ll get creative prompts, raw insights, and behind-the-scenes rituals — all designed to help you explore your Shadow without shame.

👉 Join the Dispatch — and keep re-claiming what’s yours.

You’ve been taught to fear your desire — to exile it, discipline it, disguise it as something more polite.
But what if your forbidden wants weren’t a liability… but a map?
What if they were the key to your power, your creativity, your ability to live without shrinking?

Next up: A manifesto for those who feel too hungry, too intense, too large — and are ready to stop apologizing for it.

Sources

Diana Raab, Ph.D. “Journaling the Sensuous Shadow.” Psychology Today, 2018.

Jane Ryan. “The Alchemy of Love and Sex.” ryancouplestherapy.com, 2019.

Janet Chui. “Sexuality & the Shadow.” janetchui.com, 2020.

Jim Tolles. “Your Sexual Shadow and Working With a Partner.” spiritualawakeningprocess.com, 2011.

MARR Addiction Recovery. “How Sexual Fantasies Can Connect to Our Traumatic Past.” marrinc.org, 2022.

SHIPS Psychology. “Supporting a Partner Who Has Experienced Sexual Trauma.” shipspsychology.com.au, 2024.

Wilson Counseling Blog. “How Fantasizing Can Help Your Sex Life.” wilsoncounseling.org, 2023.