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Trauma doesn’t just leave scars—it fractures us. It carves deep divides between who we were, who we are, and who we’re striving to become. It’s not just the pain of what happened; it’s the disorienting sense that the ground beneath us is no longer solid. After a moment, or years, of betrayal, abuse, or loss, the Self feels shattered—split into fragments, each holding pieces of our identity, fears, and dreams.
But here’s the thing: being fractured isn’t the end of the story. Psychologist Carl Jung believed that growth and healing come not from trying to glue those pieces back into who we were before trauma, but from creating something entirely new. Something whole. This wholeness doesn’t mean perfection or resolution; it means holding space for all the parts of us—light and shadow, strength and vulnerability, love and fear. Healing after trauma begins when we learn to embrace the contradictions that make us human.
The Tension of Opposites on Your Trauma Healing Journey
Trauma leaves us navigating a minefield of contradictions. We long for safety but crave connection. We want to heal but fear the vulnerability it requires. One part of us yearns for joy, while another has been trained to mistrust it. These tensions can feel like chaos, they are a natural part of the self-healing journey. Jung saw them as the birthplace of growth.
Jung called this dynamic the tension of opposites, and at its center is what he named the transcendent function: the emergence of something new when we allow opposing truths to coexist. This isn’t about forcing yourself to “move on” or pretending things are okay. It’s about recognizing that your contradictions—the inner battles between fear and hope, strength and uncertainty—are vital to your growth.
I learned that the only way to like the world honestly is to see it as a oneness of opposites; and further, that seeing it this way is the means to honestly liking yourself.
Dorothy Koppelman
Why Contradictions Feel So Unbearable
Let’s be real: holding space for contradictions is hard. We live in a culture that loves quick fixes and clear resolutions. We’re told to label everything—good or bad, right or wrong—and to choose one path forward. Trauma survivors often internalize this pressure, believing that the only way forward is to resolve their pain, to figure out whether they are strong or weak, healed or damaged.
The truth is, we’re all a mix of opposites. But trauma brings those contradictions into sharper focus. Avoiding them—through suppression, distraction, or self-blame—only deepens the fracture. Instead, the trauma healing journey asks you to sit with the messiness, to acknowledge the parts of yourself that feel at odds, and to accept that these tensions are part of being whole.
How to Embrace Contradictions on Your Healing Journey
Healing is not about reclaiming who you were before trauma; it’s about becoming who you want to be. Here are compassionate ways to begin embracing contradictions in your trauma healing journey:
1. Cultivate Awareness
Start by observing the conflicting parts of yourself. Reflect on questions like:
- What do I long for but feel afraid to pursue?
- What emotions or desires do I suppress because they seem “wrong”?
Journaling or meditating on these questions can help you identify the inner tensions trauma has amplified.
2. Practice Radical Acceptance
Recognize that opposing truths can coexist. For example:
- “I want to trust others, but I’m scared of being hurt again, and I accept both feelings.”
- “I feel strong some days and fragile on others, and both are okay.”
Mindfulness can help you sit with these emotions without judgment, allowing them to exist without the need for resolution.
3. Engage in Dialogue with Opposites
Have a compassionate inner conversation between two parts of yourself. You might write it out or imagine it. Let the part of you that craves joy speak to the part that fears it. What do they need from each other?
This exercise can foster understanding and begin to integrate your fractured parts.
4. Explore Creative Expression
Art can be a powerful outlet for navigating contradictions. Consider creating something that represents your trauma healing journey, such as:
- A doll, painting, or drawing that symbolizes your fractured Self on its journey toward wholeness. Incorporate symbols that speak to your experience—perhaps circles for continuity, crosses for emphasis, hidden elements to represent untold stories.
- A sculpture showing both light and shadow.
- A poem that weaves together fear and hope.
Creative expression allows you to externalize your inner chaos and begin to find meaning within it.
5. Embrace the Messiness of Living with Contradictions
The trauma healing journey isn’t about fixing every part of yourself; it’s about learning to live with your complexities. Allow yourself to feel strong and vulnerable, joyful and uncertain. By holding space for these contradictions, you can create a life that honors every part of you.
What Happens When You Embrace Your Opposites?
When you stop fighting your contradictions and start holding space for them, something incredible happens. You find resilience in the parts of you that felt broken. You’ll discover compassion in moments where you once felt self-judgment. And you begin to trust that joy, while fleeting, is always worth welcoming into your life.
Real-Life Examples of Healing Through Contradictions
- A Survivor’s Journey: After leaving an abusive relationship, a woman grapples with her desire for independence while longing for intimacy. By allowing herself to feel both fear and hope, she begins to rebuild her life with strength and compassion while remaining separated from her abusive partner.
- Creative Healing Through Art: An artist creates dolls that embody her trauma healing journey, using symbols of both light and darkness to express her resilience. These creations become a bridge between her fractured self and the wholeness she is creating.
Becoming Whole
Healing doesn’t erase trauma, and it doesn’t mean you’ll never feel fractured again. But it does mean embracing the truth that your contradictions—your light and shadow, strength and vulnerability—are what make you whole.
Take time today to reflect on the opposites within you. Let them speak to you through art, writing, or quiet contemplation. There’s power in holding space for the messiness of who you are. You’re not broken—you’re becoming.
Trauma Healing Journey FAQ
What is the trauma healing journey?
A trauma healing journey is the process of recovering emotionally, mentally, and spiritually from the effects of trauma. It often involves acknowledging pain, embracing contradictions, and integrating fragmented parts of yourself to find wholeness and growth.
How do I start on my own trauma healing journey?
Begin by cultivating awareness of your emotions and inner conflicts. Journaling, mindfulness practices, or seeking therapy can help you process your feelings. Recognizing and accepting contradictions, such as strength and vulnerability, is a key step in your healing journey.
Why is it important to embrace contradictions during healing?
Embracing contradictions allows you to integrate different parts of yourself that may feel at odds. Instead of avoiding or suppressing these conflicts, accepting them fosters personal growth and helps you feel more whole and authentic.
What does “holding space” mean?
Holding space is a concept rooted in psychology that’s all about being present with someone, even yourself, in a non-judgmental and supportive way. It’s about creating an environment where a person feels safe, seen, and heard without fear of judgment or pressure to act a certain way.
Here are some key elements of holding space:
Being Present: Giving someone your full attention by putting distractions aside and being in the moment with them.
Non-Judgment: Avoiding the urge to fix, criticize, or control the situation. It’s about showing acceptance, not giving solutions.
Empathy: Truly understanding and sharing in the emotions and experiences of the other person.
Creating Safety: Providing an open and judgment-free environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves.
Listening: Paying attention without interrupting or steering the conversation back to yourself. You can ask questions to aid your understanding.
Openness: Allowing space for all emotions—anger, sadness, joy—without dismissing or minimizing them.
What is the “tension of opposites”?
The tension of opposites is the feeling of being pulled between two opposing choices or paths. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychoanalyst, called the tension between opposites the “problem of the opposites”. He believed that this tension was a fundamental part of the human psyche. It develops when one side of an opposing pair is favored over the other, burying the other side in the unconscious and leads to conflict between the conscious ego and the unconscious. You can manage it by remaining conscious of both sides of the opposing pair and learning how to balance them.
Can creative expression help in trauma recovery?
Yes, creative outlets like art, writing, or music can be powerful tools for processing trauma. They allow you to explore your emotions, express contradictions, and create meaning from your experiences, aiding your self-healing journey.
What does “living with contradictions” mean in healing?
Living with contradictions means accepting the complexities of your emotions and experiences without trying to resolve or eliminate them. It involves allowing conflicting truths to coexist, such as feeling both hopeful and scared, as part of your healing process.
Can you truly heal after trauma?
Healing after trauma doesn’t mean erasing the past but finding resilience and growth despite it. It’s about integrating your experiences, embracing all parts of yourself, and creating a meaningful life that honors your journey.
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