A Simple Guide to Working with Your Shadow

Working with Your Shadow Self Leads to Self-Acceptance

In my own journey of self-discovery and healing, I encountered a powerful concept: the shadow self. Rooted in Jungian psychology, the shadow self is a part of us we often hide or suppress, a repository for traits or emotions we might find uncomfortable, unacceptable, or even shameful. My experience working with my shadow self led me to a profound realization that transformed how I interact with myself:

I want to share what this means and how you, too, can begin your journey of shadow work for greater self-acceptance and inner peace. (When you want more, read The Art of Shadow Work: A Creative Path to Integration)

Why Is Working with Your Shadow Important?

Acknowledging your shadow offers an opportunity for deep healing, emotional clarity, and empowerment. But it’s not always easy: shadow work often means confronting painful memories or uncomfortable feelings we’ve buried. Many of us (myself included) initially believe that shadow work is about “getting rid of” unwanted parts of ourselves so we can be “good” or lovable. But pushing these parts away only leads to what I call the double burden, especially for those of us who have experienced trauma.

For years, my shadow carried beliefs I’d internalized from an abusive relationship, convincing me that I was “unlovable and destined to fail.” This created an exhausting internal conflict—feeling every emotion twice, once in my conscious mind and again in my shadow. When I finally stopped resisting my shadow, I allowed it to think and feel what it wanted without judgment. This act of acceptance opened a door to unburdening myself and experiencing emotions without this exhausting double effect.

Once I allowed my shadow self to think what it wanted to think, I unburdened myself of feeling everything twice.

First Steps of Working with Your Shadow

Recognize the Shadow

Shadow work begins with identifying and understanding these hidden aspects of yourself. Here are a few practical ways to get started:

• Practice Self-Observation: Notice when you feel triggered, upset, or overly defensive. Often, these moments reveal parts of yourself that need attention.
• Journal with Doodles: Doodle in your journal. If words come to mind, write them down. If not, enjoy the time spent allowing your subconscious to speak.
• Be Honest About Your Reactions: Recognizing the shadow means acknowledging the parts of yourself that react to life’s challenges—sometimes negatively or fearfully.

The first step is simply allowing these parts of yourself to exist without trying to change them. Allow your shadow self to “think what it wants to think.” You’re not committing to act on these thoughts; you’re simply making space for them. You may be surprised at how quickly this acceptance reduces emotional strain and increases your self-awareness.

Tools for Working with Your Shadow

There are many tools for shadow work, and no single method works for everyone. Here are a few I’ve found particularly helpful:

• Art and Creativity: For me, creating art is like a waking dream, allowing my subconscious to speak through my hands. Through art, you can access memories and emotions you may not even be aware of. They spill out of you as if you’ve known it all along. It’s a powerful tool for understanding what your shadow self feeds on and can give you insights without words.
• The Flow: Artmaking puts me in the “flow,” a state where you’re so absorbed that time fades away, and focus becomes almost otherworldly. Any activity that brings you joy can put you in the flow. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described flow as the harmony between skill and challenge, creating joy and fulfillment. In this space, your subconscious expresses itself freely, unburdened by self-doubt or overthinking.
• Meditation and Mindfulness: Practicing mindful observation of your thoughts can be eye-opening. Sit with whatever arises without judgment, even if it feels uncomfortable.
• Tarot and Symbolism: Tarot cards or other symbols can serve as a guide to connect with deeper layers of your psyche. They offer an external representation of the hidden parts of yourself, helping you see things in a new light.

Creating a dedicated space for shadow work, whether a journal, an art sketchbook, or a creative corner, can help you stay engaged in the process. Remember, working with your shadow doesn’t mean acting on every thought but acknowledging it and giving it space.

Integrating and Accepting Your Shadow

The more I allowed my shadow self to exist and interact, the more I could experience my emotions without that internal struggle. For example, I could feel triggered by something and respond thoughtfully instead of letting old wounds take control. This process is about creating an internal dialogue, almost like having conversations between your conscious self and your shadow. With time, this practice leads to greater self-respect and inner calm.

Shadow work isn’t about eliminating your shadow. It’s about building a relationship with it that fosters self-acceptance, self-love, and self-awareness. Integration is gradual, and each moment of acceptance brings you closer to a whole and balanced self.

Shadow Work as a Lifelong Practice

Shadow work is a lifelong process, not a quick fix. It’s easy to get caught up in uncovering hidden parts of yourself, but maintaining balance is key. Embracing your shadow is about wholeness, not perfection. This means understanding that your shadow will change as you change and that returning to shadow work periodically can help you stay grounded and self-aware.

Also, remember that shadow work will likely bring up difficult memories or emotions. Facing them with patience is the best way to allow true healing and transformation. Take breaks if needed, and be gentle with yourself through this journey.

Conclusion and Encouragement

The journey of shadow work isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding paths to self-acceptance and inner peace. Remember: “Your shadow is not your enemy—it’s a part of you waiting to be understood and integrated.” By creating space for these hidden parts of yourself, you’re lighting a path toward a more authentic, whole version of yourself.

If you choose to embark on this journey, go at your own pace and embrace both light and dark within you. The shadow self isn’t something to be conquered or cast out. Instead, it’s an essential part of who you are—a source of empathy, wisdom, and true self-acceptance. And as you bring your shadow into the light, may you find the calm and balance that comes from being whole.