The First of a Man on a Wall

I don’t know if that will be the title of the painting I’m working on right now, but I thought I’d share my unsatisfactory foray back into acrylic painting. I forgot how fast that stuff dries!

I’m disappointed in this initial go so far, but I know that a painting isn’t finished until I can no longer correct it or I’m satisfied with it. I usually say “If I don’t like it, I’m not done.” However, with these extra years of wisdom under my belt, I’ve realized that sometimes things are finished before you’re satisfied with the ending.

So let’s talk about this fledgling painting of a man in a hood leaning face first onto a cold dark wall.

Inspiration for Man on the Wall

It might be difficult to make out a man on a wall in the first image. But as I was lying on my side, the man was vertical and in a lot of emotional pain. I have been in his shoes before, so I took the picture.

First Paint Isn’t Quite Right

So, as fun as it was to remember how fast acrylic paint dries, I also did not get my dude stretched out how I wanted. I got involved in pulling the light out of the dark and completely ignored the inspiration photo.

That’s okay though. Remembering why I like how fast acrylic paint dries, I can completely redo him if I want. I can

1. Move his whole body up the wall to get his full-form in the frame, or
2. Let his boots and calves disappear from the bottom of his body into the vast nothingness that is “not the painting”.

There are more options, such as moving him left or right. Originally, I’d planned for him to be squashed closer to the right side of the canvas. I think I might still do that.

But, so far as 1 and 2 are concerned, I’m leaning toward 2, losing the bottom quarter of his body. I think it might make him look closer to me, and that crowded effect is something I want for the painting.

I’d also like to show that he is in an untied straight-jacket, hinting at it with the long flowy straps connected to his garment. But how do I show them when those straps will be in the darkest of shadow?

The Dream I Just Remembered

Hold on. Don’t run away. It’s a short dream and will probably influence the artwork. Actually, it already has by simply remembering it.

A long time ago, I had a dream about a path leading to a bright light. I was walking along it in the dark, but people sitting cross-legged on either side of the path were stuck there. They had their heads in their hands and were wailing in pain so incessantly that I barely cared about why they were there. The noise was horrific.

Besides, I already knew why they were there. They were in their hell. I had probably sat on the path just like them, wailing, some time before. But now I knew that all they had to do was open their eyes. They would see that whatever punishment they were enduring was not real. They too could stand up and walk to the light if they would only forgive themselves.

So that image will likely inspire the mood behind this painting. I’m not sure how much of the visuals of the dream will appear, but I hope the feeling will.

I just figured out why I wanted him to be in an unsecured straight-jacket! Just like the people lining the path, he is not truly restricted. If he would only turn from the wall, open his eyes…

It’s sad that society has in our collective consciousness an archetypal image for this false stuck-ness. It’s the tarot’s 8 of Swords.

So does any part of my creative process resonate with you? I’d like to hear about your process, so leave your thoughts for me below.