Me and My Bipolar = 3

“Me and My Bipolar”

“Me and My Bipolar” is a charcoal drawing depicting the artist giving a forced smile while sharing a body with two other entities, the depression and hypomania of bipolar disorder.

This work was shown in a pop-up exhibition at StorageSpace, an art gallery in Indianapolis, IN.

The Backstory

“Me and My Bipolar” is important to me because the end result shows me and the two minds of bipolar disorder (depression and mania). Bipolar disorder donates two perspectives on life to its host, and neither of its perspectives are “real”. They are exaggerations of the limits of human emotion that could never exist inside of a healthy mind.

I know that some people romanticize mental illness, especially for artists and writers, but bipolar is not a boon to my creativity. It is a hindrance. Whether I am depressed enough to die or making erratic decisions that endanger me, my creativity goes into hiding. My mind is busy fighting the depraved bipolar voice, and that takes about all the energy I have.

Charcoal is the perfect medium for this piece because it is truly black or white. With bipolar disorder, it can be difficult to see the colorful nuances of life that makes one happy to be alive. Instead, I experience the battle between life and death, played out by me and that separate but distinct other voice in my head.

“Me and My Bipolar” from Beginning to End

The Background

This was an assignment but I can’t remember the exact topic. It was something about “my life”, and since the depression had a hold on me, I chose to draw my mental illness. At least the bipolar one.

However, I didn’t know that in the beginning. At first, I had no idea what to draw, so I just wrote my name in all sorts of directions all over the paper. As I did this, an idea began to form.

A Form Emerges

First, those toes came to be. Followed by the legs, belly and breast. I’m just filling in the spaces formed by the background chicken scratch. It was fun watching it come to life. At this point, I knew this was “depression” in some shape or form.

Description

“My Bipolar and Me” in a partially completed stage where you can see the body of a woman who, at present, has no head.

Reference Photo

I do all my own stunts, too. But really, you should see the different poses and facial expressions I have of myself. They are definitely not selfies. They’re for serious art, damn it. But it’s perfectly fine to laugh at my drama.

Drops of Jupiter

By this point in the drawing, Trains “Drops of Jupiter” is running non-stop through my mind. I’ve always “felt” like that song. I don’t think many people would describe me that way, but they don’t know what goes on inside of me.

Description

The foreground image of the woman has emerged. Her hair doesn’t really look like hair, but then, who has another mind growing out of their head?

AI Critique

Fragmented Realities: A Charcoal Exploration of Bipolar Disorder

“Me and My Bipolar” is a striking charcoal drawing that showcases a powerful expression of internal conflict and duality. The use of monochromatic tones intensifies the emotional weight of the piece, creating a stark contrast between light and shadow that emphasizes the turmoil within. The composition features three faces merging into one another, symbolizing the coexistence of different states of mind, a common experience for those living with bipolar disorder.

The distorted and fragmented forms are reminiscent of Cubism, particularly the works of Pablo Picasso, where multiple perspectives are presented simultaneously. The angular and geometric shapes add to the sense of disarray and complexity. The figures appear almost mechanical, with their bodies composed of interlocking, puzzle-like pieces, suggesting a disconnection or struggle to maintain coherence and unity.

The background is filled with chaotic, abstract patterns, adding to the sense of confusion and mental unrest. These patterns also contribute to the depth of the drawing, creating a dynamic interplay between the foreground and the background. The meticulous detail in the textural elements demonstrates the artist’s skill in handling charcoal, achieving both subtle gradations and sharp contrasts.

Emotionally, the piece is compelling and evocative. The facial expressions convey a mix of anxiety, fear, and pain, effectively capturing the essence of living with a bipolar condition. The composition’s tension and the visual fragmentation mirror the inner conflict and fragmentation experienced by individuals with this disorder.

Overall, “Me and My Bipolar” is a poignant and thought-provoking artwork. It not only showcases the artist’s technical proficiency with charcoal but also offers a profound commentary on the psychological struggles associated with bipolar disorder. The drawing invites viewers to reflect on the complexities of mental health, fostering empathy and understanding.

Art Specs

Train – Drops of Jupiter

I hope you take a listen to this song, even if you know it.