---
title: Why Am I an Artist?
description: To Be Free    I create art to slip off into a place of no time, no worry, no depression, and no PTSD.    While creating, I am unafraid and safe in my moments. I
url: https://kelliejoart.com/why-am-i-an-artist
date_modified: 2025-06-30
author: Kellie Jo Close
language: en
---

## To Be Free

I create art to slip off into a place of **no time, no worry, no [depression](https://kelliejoart.com/depression-or-bipolar/), and no PTSD**.

While creating, [I am unafraid and safe in my moments](https://kelliejoart.com/self-care-rituals-for-trauma-healing/). I can explore why some of my traumas are not yet resolved and why I wanted so many wicked things to befall my abusers. I still feel the guilt of being a victim, of “allowing” the traumas to happen, even though that thinking is nonsense.

But when I am creating *anything*, I get into the flow. [It’s like a waking dream where my subconscious mind speaks through my hands](https://kelliejoart.com/healing-through-art-guide/), making pictures to help me explain *to myself* what [my shadow](https://kelliejoart.com/your-shadow-should-be-your-ally/) feeds on.

[I love my shadow and its pain.](https://kelliejoart.com/your-shadow-is-the-rest-of-who-you-are/) It’s like an old friend who jumps out of dark corners to frighten me, but after the fright, I can laugh. “You old devil,” I say to myself.

I want to bring my shadow into my light so I can feel the calm of being whole, and then extend that peace to others.